Chessey title, I know. Just wanted to get the point across.
I thought in this post I would let everyone know what happened to the job that I loved and thought I would be with forever. I don't care anymore and it is not intended for a pitty party scenario - just the truth as it pertains to me.
I had a friend - a really good friend. For years, while my best friend, Teri, lived in Boston, her aunt, Sharon, and I did everything together all the time. This included numerous hours of drinking (I did not do pills with her, just to make that clear). Sharon, who is 20 years my senior) did a lot of pills also. Long story short, it was a detructive friendship. After Teri came back, Sharon would play us against each other all the time. Teri said she was jealous...doesn't really matter. I was with Sharon countless times when she became vendictive and did mean things to people just because it was funny to her. Didn't really bother me too much...none of my business.
Anyways, after my daughter moved out here I didn't have as much time or energy to play drinky-crow show with her as much, therefore, after explaining over and over again that partying, going to school, helping a pregnant daughter, work, and a household was a lot to handle, the daily drinking stopped making me "boring", "not fun", and pretty much useless to her. We still kept in touch but didn't see each other other than at parties and stuff like that.
Teri and Sharon got into a huge fight in April of 2012. Sharon set her sights on making Teris life miserable, and succeeded, on many occasions, going as far as calling CPS on her and telling them that Teri and her husband were molesting their kids. It war heinous how far she went and I made the decision to cut her out of oour lives for good. I refuse to have that sort of negative energy in my life anymore.
Well, Teri is moving to California now, so we had a HUGE summer blow out for her on June 30th. At that point, Teri told me that Sharon was not to be invited. I agreed, as everytime Sharon was at a party she acted idiotically, loud, and combative, things ALWAYS got stolen but was blamed on other people, and peole just couldn't relax. I got numerous text messages through out that day from her, her kids, everyone wanting to know what time to come over. I ignored them, figuring that I would tect her the next day and explain. I mean, ant rational person wouldn't wantto be at a going away party for someone they couldn't stand, right??? Party was great and very relaxing...for a change. The next day I explained my actions and she was mad, but it seemed alright.
Background - Sharon was the only human being in this world that knew I lied on my application at UoP as far as having a felony went because she is the one who told me to do it and how to get around it. Sharon was also the only human who knew the ethics hotline to call to turn me in. She is also the only person who knew that it would be termination.
I knew this would happen...I called it when Teri started getting CPS visits. I told everyone that this was going to happen because I was now in her sights.
On approxiamtely, according to reports that I read, July 5th (the same day the molestation allegations were filed with CPS on Teri), an anonymous tipster (later identified as Sharon) called UoP in ragards to my "slip up" on my original application from 6 YEARS earlier. The ethics and comliance department started a complete investigation and found that I indeed lied on my application to get the job. The rest is history...second week in August called in for a inquiry, a week later put on paid administrative leave, a month later let go. I do have another job and I learned a lot from not working that month.
Since then, all contact with Sharon and the people who she associates with has been cut off. I feel revived! I didn't play out any of the wonderful revenge scenarios in my head (YAY ME!). I took the high road knowing that she has lost a lot of people who wanted to help her and stand by her to get better. Thinking that she is a sociopath leads us to believe that even if we forgave and tried to help she would end up getting pissed about something and strike again and we aren't willing to sacrifice ourselves that way...we all are just tired of it. And it's all over a party???
I kinda feel sorry for her. Her husband and kids can't stand her, she has no real friends, and she is drinking and popping pills to death. She has been red flagged at every doctors office and clinic in the state, so she is havng a hard time finding her pills and she will not work, so there is no money (and this woman loved shopping as much as I do!). She is an empty shell - how lonely it must feel!
Todays moral is a simple one that sometimes people forget - getting EVEN is not the answer. Unless you feel like living out the rest of your days cold and alone, be careful how you exact revenge (or just take the high road). It may cost you the things that matter most - the people in your lives.
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Saturday, September 22, 2012
Nostalgia
So, I woke up this morning feeling good, but nostalgic. I think it is because I had a dream that brought back some sights and smells (really) that are from my past. I think that the human mind does this to us in order for us to never forget what we are and what has made us this way.
First I want to say what a roller coaster this week has been. I got hired on at a place where I will be working with people that I have worked with before and love dearly. We never really lost touch even though it has been 7-8 years since working with them and they have always been a great bunch of people. I love the idea of being able to see them again on a daily basis and just being part of their lives. On the same day I got a call from the place I was paid administrative leave from and they had to decided to let me go. I loved the sense that I was helping peole at this job and worked, again, with incredible people, but there really was too much talent in one place to even dream of moving on up. Plus I was tired of the pressures that they put on us daily. I will miss the second place but I am thrilled with the replacement. Again, emotions are the key thing. It is a feeling of loss mixed with a feeling of happiness and peace.
Now my dream. I dreamt that we (I don't know who) were driving by the beach and about 1/2 mile up the road the car broke down. While whoever was fixing the car I walked down to the beach. My entire dream was me walking on the beach. I used to love the beach...a TON of memories occured there. I even felt the cool breeze hitting my skin, the smell of the salt, the warm sun...everything about that place makes me feel at peace and alive. So, I woke up feeling the same way, but missing the easy drive there. I moved for California to Arizona and the closest thing that we have out here is the lakes (beautiful, but not quite the same feeling). The beach was also a family favorite for mini vacations.
Maybe my dream was actually my mom and dad letting me know that they are together walking on the beach, enjoying each other again...at last. That is where the inner peace is coming from and that is where the love will stay!
First I want to say what a roller coaster this week has been. I got hired on at a place where I will be working with people that I have worked with before and love dearly. We never really lost touch even though it has been 7-8 years since working with them and they have always been a great bunch of people. I love the idea of being able to see them again on a daily basis and just being part of their lives. On the same day I got a call from the place I was paid administrative leave from and they had to decided to let me go. I loved the sense that I was helping peole at this job and worked, again, with incredible people, but there really was too much talent in one place to even dream of moving on up. Plus I was tired of the pressures that they put on us daily. I will miss the second place but I am thrilled with the replacement. Again, emotions are the key thing. It is a feeling of loss mixed with a feeling of happiness and peace.
Now my dream. I dreamt that we (I don't know who) were driving by the beach and about 1/2 mile up the road the car broke down. While whoever was fixing the car I walked down to the beach. My entire dream was me walking on the beach. I used to love the beach...a TON of memories occured there. I even felt the cool breeze hitting my skin, the smell of the salt, the warm sun...everything about that place makes me feel at peace and alive. So, I woke up feeling the same way, but missing the easy drive there. I moved for California to Arizona and the closest thing that we have out here is the lakes (beautiful, but not quite the same feeling). The beach was also a family favorite for mini vacations.
Maybe my dream was actually my mom and dad letting me know that they are together walking on the beach, enjoying each other again...at last. That is where the inner peace is coming from and that is where the love will stay!
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Moving Right Along
So, as I mentioned, I had a great childhood filled with memories that can't be taken by anyone. I find it odd what the mind chooses to keep as precious memories. For instance, a scent, a flavor, a picture. One of my most vivd memories is of my grandmothers breakfast potatoes (cute, I know).
We used to go to Lake Meadas a family a few times each summer. There is a rest stop a couple of miles from Lake Mead that we used to park the RVs at (there was alwasy 2-3 there to accomodate the whole family - sometimes soem of the older boys would actually sleep on the boat). In the mornings, grandma would cook eggs, some breakfast meat, and those AMAZING potatoes (home made, of course) for everyone before a nice day of boating. While grandma cooked the breakfast, me and my sister would help mom make sandwiches for the day, which usually consisted of tuna andsome peanut butter and jelly (I didn't like tuna too much). I also rememebr the Cactus Coolers and cheetos. I STILL try to recreate those potatoes...can't get it right to save my life!
My grandma was a very metriculous cook and baker. When she would make a French Cherry pie (again AWESOME) she would place one cherry at a time in a perfect circle so that each bite got the exact same amount of cherries. Her holiday dinners have been tried to be recreated by my brother numerous times and he does really well at it, however I have failed miserabley. I think this is because I have a taste for things a little bit more complicated then she did.
I also remember my sister trying to teach me how to cook. She would show me how to make meat loaf and basics, however the best thing she taught me was - get this - vienna sausage sandwiches. They are SO good!
This is what I am talking about - easy concepts that took little or no time away from normal everyday activities that stick in a persons precious memories 35 years later? Now THAT is priceless.
Moral of the story? Take the 5 minutes with the little ones in your life. You will NEVER know until years later what is precious and for what reason, but the legacy that you have given will orchastrate a young persons perception of love and peacefullness.
We used to go to Lake Meadas a family a few times each summer. There is a rest stop a couple of miles from Lake Mead that we used to park the RVs at (there was alwasy 2-3 there to accomodate the whole family - sometimes soem of the older boys would actually sleep on the boat). In the mornings, grandma would cook eggs, some breakfast meat, and those AMAZING potatoes (home made, of course) for everyone before a nice day of boating. While grandma cooked the breakfast, me and my sister would help mom make sandwiches for the day, which usually consisted of tuna andsome peanut butter and jelly (I didn't like tuna too much). I also rememebr the Cactus Coolers and cheetos. I STILL try to recreate those potatoes...can't get it right to save my life!
My grandma was a very metriculous cook and baker. When she would make a French Cherry pie (again AWESOME) she would place one cherry at a time in a perfect circle so that each bite got the exact same amount of cherries. Her holiday dinners have been tried to be recreated by my brother numerous times and he does really well at it, however I have failed miserabley. I think this is because I have a taste for things a little bit more complicated then she did.
I also remember my sister trying to teach me how to cook. She would show me how to make meat loaf and basics, however the best thing she taught me was - get this - vienna sausage sandwiches. They are SO good!
This is what I am talking about - easy concepts that took little or no time away from normal everyday activities that stick in a persons precious memories 35 years later? Now THAT is priceless.
Moral of the story? Take the 5 minutes with the little ones in your life. You will NEVER know until years later what is precious and for what reason, but the legacy that you have given will orchastrate a young persons perception of love and peacefullness.
Friday, September 14, 2012
In The Begining
OK. Sorry it has been a few days since my last post (I promise once I get the hang of this thing I will be doing more and, eventually, get to the point of all of this).
I was a happyy, but somewhat spoiled-by-nature child. My earliest memory is my sweet sister (who did a million things with me) dressing me up just like her on a Halloween. She had put bloody make-up on and a long gown and I, wanting to be JUST like her, did the same for me. We posed in front of the hedges in our front yard and one of our parental figures took a picture of us. Her beautiful long piano playing fingers were gnarled in front of her in a menacing claw as was mine. A fake growl canvased our faces so that it caould be caught forever. I wish I could find that picture now - it was great. I was probably about 5 or 6 and she was (I think) around 15 or 16, maybe a little older (I suck at ages - there was an entire year where I thought I was a year older than I am).
Another great early memory that I have is with my oldest brother. There was a swing (I'm not kidding) that hang from the rafters in the middle of our living room (they were 10 feet high). I was put in it and my brother would push me WAY up high time and time again. He would call me "Christy the Pooh Bear" and laugh continuosly while he did it...LOL.
Of course I remember all the vacations, the places, the family. I tend to wonder what happened to me along the way that made ME the ultimate rebel in our family? Did I just want too much? Was the music I listened to more anarchist-like? Is it just in my chemical make up that made me want to do, see, and explore much more? All I know is that I couldn't control it. I look at it like a video game - until I crawled my way to a certain amount of experience and skill, I was sort of stuck trying to achieve everything as quickly as I could.
I'm not complaining...it was a good thing and a fantastic life (many years pending). However, I do know a lot of GOOD people who have or do feel this way. I want everyone to know that it is OK. It is human nature to judge those who do not conform to the "norm." Those who can see more in you will and will not leave your side. Those who will snub you will forever be with a hole in their sould because no matter where you are in your personal journey you have a beacon of love, light, and peace that will come through the clouds someday. The ones who stay will shine right along with you.
This is where love comes from.
I was a happyy, but somewhat spoiled-by-nature child. My earliest memory is my sweet sister (who did a million things with me) dressing me up just like her on a Halloween. She had put bloody make-up on and a long gown and I, wanting to be JUST like her, did the same for me. We posed in front of the hedges in our front yard and one of our parental figures took a picture of us. Her beautiful long piano playing fingers were gnarled in front of her in a menacing claw as was mine. A fake growl canvased our faces so that it caould be caught forever. I wish I could find that picture now - it was great. I was probably about 5 or 6 and she was (I think) around 15 or 16, maybe a little older (I suck at ages - there was an entire year where I thought I was a year older than I am).
Another great early memory that I have is with my oldest brother. There was a swing (I'm not kidding) that hang from the rafters in the middle of our living room (they were 10 feet high). I was put in it and my brother would push me WAY up high time and time again. He would call me "Christy the Pooh Bear" and laugh continuosly while he did it...LOL.
Of course I remember all the vacations, the places, the family. I tend to wonder what happened to me along the way that made ME the ultimate rebel in our family? Did I just want too much? Was the music I listened to more anarchist-like? Is it just in my chemical make up that made me want to do, see, and explore much more? All I know is that I couldn't control it. I look at it like a video game - until I crawled my way to a certain amount of experience and skill, I was sort of stuck trying to achieve everything as quickly as I could.
I'm not complaining...it was a good thing and a fantastic life (many years pending). However, I do know a lot of GOOD people who have or do feel this way. I want everyone to know that it is OK. It is human nature to judge those who do not conform to the "norm." Those who can see more in you will and will not leave your side. Those who will snub you will forever be with a hole in their sould because no matter where you are in your personal journey you have a beacon of love, light, and peace that will come through the clouds someday. The ones who stay will shine right along with you.
This is where love comes from.
Saturday, September 8, 2012
Working It Out
OK. So it has been a minute since my last post, but for good reason. On 8/29 my mother passed away after a somewhat long bout FIGHTING cancer. Since then I had to get my bearings straight, but now I have to get on. I mean afterall that is what we do as humans, right? We grieve (in our own ways), then move the heck on, right?
The thing that always got me about my moms cancer is that she is the one person who I didn't expect this from. I mean she was never a health freak or anything, but there are so many other people, including myself, that put themselves in high risk for cancer and she did none of those things. Don't get me wrong - I am not wishing this horrible disease on anyone...just doesn't make sense. Maybe it is because I know nothing about how the disease works. This whole experience has taught me that sometimes there really is no rhyme or reason behind things.
The fact remains that she is at peace now and that means more to me than anything. She couldn't live the life that she wanted to at the end and just wanted to go be with Daddy. It is funny how me along with some other people are the ones who are at peace right along with her because we know that she is happy, young, and with the man who was her world for 50+ years.
So, anyways, I just wanted to get these thoughts out. I think that I may have been holding them in for too long without a release. Now that it is over, I can move on. I'll be back soon!
The thing that always got me about my moms cancer is that she is the one person who I didn't expect this from. I mean she was never a health freak or anything, but there are so many other people, including myself, that put themselves in high risk for cancer and she did none of those things. Don't get me wrong - I am not wishing this horrible disease on anyone...just doesn't make sense. Maybe it is because I know nothing about how the disease works. This whole experience has taught me that sometimes there really is no rhyme or reason behind things.
The fact remains that she is at peace now and that means more to me than anything. She couldn't live the life that she wanted to at the end and just wanted to go be with Daddy. It is funny how me along with some other people are the ones who are at peace right along with her because we know that she is happy, young, and with the man who was her world for 50+ years.
So, anyways, I just wanted to get these thoughts out. I think that I may have been holding them in for too long without a release. Now that it is over, I can move on. I'll be back soon!
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Begining
OK. So as I am somewhat new at this whole blogging thing, I thought that I would start out with why we are gathered here. My name is Christine and I live in Arizona. I am 42 years old and have lived one heck of a life. To be perfectly honest, if we go by statistics alone, I should be in jail, on the streets, or living a much different life than I am now. I really should be a totally different person than I am, mentally and physically. However, I am not (we will get into ALL that as the days pass).
The reason for this blog is so that I can help people. No...I don't have a degree saying that I am "qualified" to help people in hard times but I know what education teaches us and, trust me, it is not as valuable as real life experiences (not down playing a good education at all). I want to let people know how they can move forward and what worked for me.
In society, people who have done "wrong" in the past are viewed differently than those who have never been caught for their escapades. Yes, people, I am honest...I know that every single one of youreading this has done things that they are ashamed of, not right, horrible, and damaging. It is naive to think that there are people who are so pure and innocent that they are exempt from these sort of missteps...simply not true, my friends. Just give life and this blog a chance. Trust me...you will find something on a daily basis to help you get through the day and to help move forward, not back.
The reason for this blog is so that I can help people. No...I don't have a degree saying that I am "qualified" to help people in hard times but I know what education teaches us and, trust me, it is not as valuable as real life experiences (not down playing a good education at all). I want to let people know how they can move forward and what worked for me.
In society, people who have done "wrong" in the past are viewed differently than those who have never been caught for their escapades. Yes, people, I am honest...I know that every single one of youreading this has done things that they are ashamed of, not right, horrible, and damaging. It is naive to think that there are people who are so pure and innocent that they are exempt from these sort of missteps...simply not true, my friends. Just give life and this blog a chance. Trust me...you will find something on a daily basis to help you get through the day and to help move forward, not back.
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